We live in a culture that demands discipline and perfection at all times and in all aspects of our lives. When it comes to weight and nutrition, these cultural demands come face to face with our natural physiological mechanisms to create a perfect storm in which many people live: a constant cycle of guilt and self-hatred related to their body image and weight-control habits.
Burnt out from the endless feelings of inferiority, powerlessness, and despair, we become vulnerable to extreme nutrition messages presented with more confidence than credibility, opinions promoted as fact. Read More
The night is getting late, and I can’t figure out where to turn to in the Bible for comfort, so I turn to my favorite passage, Mark 2. Mark 2 contains the Calling of Levi, which holds a passage of scripture that has always brought me much comfort.
“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” – Mark 2:17b
Many times over throughout my recovery, I have closed my eyes and imagined myself sitting at a dinner party, listening while Jesus says these very same words. I have taken great joy in knowing I am definitely one of the chosen Jesus came to save. There is no doubt about it, I am a sinner. Read More
It’s been about six months since I’ve been in regular therapy and treatment. I never really thought it was possible to live my life outside of therapy and treatment and my mental illnesses. I was convinced I would always be consumed by my eating disorder, depression, and anxiety.
When I first returned to college this past fall after taking time off for treatment, I lived a life of hesitancy and caution. I was wary of taking on too much because what if I relapsed? What if my depression took away my power to function? What if I became crippled by my anxiety? What if my eating disorder took over my life? Read More
I find it quite poetic that this article should be posted this month because on the 1st of March I was 35,000 feet in the air en route to London. It is poetic because I am leaving South Africa (again) and moving to France to start a new adventure and so, as the southern hemisphere gears down in preparation for winter, I am heading to the promise of spring. The symbolism abounds.
If you are familiar with my story at all, you’ll understand why heading to Europe was a big decision for me to make; a scary one, too. In fact, when I made the choice, I was afraid of how people would react. I was afraid they would confirm the niggling doubt in the back of my mind that maybe I’d made a bad choice considering what happened last time. Thankfully, I was met only with affirmation and support of my decision. Read More
I am no stranger to the path of recovery. I have walked it, stepped away from it, stepped back on it, moonwalked on it, and attempted to leap through it. My path had the craziest display of footprints across it. There was no pattern or organization to it. It was sporadic, much like my mindset as I was attempting to recover.
It was the perfect representation of my mental and emotional confusion, feeling lost and unsure about where I was going or how I could get there. All I wanted to do was be at the end as quickly as possible. I wanted to bypass all the difficult parts and leap over the discomfort and run from the gradual change straight to the place of peace I hoped was waiting for me. Read More
I am free from the boundaries of the past. I am free to be the beautiful, compassionate, trusting, wise human being I’ve always had hiding inside.
Feeling free from the desire to be deemed ‘good enough’ by someone else, whether it’s a parent, a friend, or a significant other, has allowed me to open myself up to all life’s possibilities. I am able to live an authentic life.
I’m not eager to hide the dark aspects of my being anymore. I am not afraid to show my rawness. This is me. I break myself down and rebuild, time and again. I am enough. I am indestructible. I am free.
Originally published March 15, 2013 It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when an eating disorder started, and mine is no exception. I can certainly remember specific times that my…
Originally published January 21, 2014 My dad sat us three kids down and said two words that changed my life forever: “We’re moving.” After that moment, life passed…
No matter how challenging and scary it is, I believe recovery leads to something better.